Saturday, August 13, 2011
Who am I?
Take a good look at that little curly brown headed muffin. That smile, those eyes twinkling, feet dancing, totally free & so happy to be with dancing with her cousin.
Where did that girl go?
When is the last time I was truly free & happy? Was it before I stopped liking the way I look in pictures, or when I stopped talking in class because I felt like the boys were smarter? Was it when I felt ashamed of my body? Was it when I started stifling what I wanted because I wasn't sure how other people would feel about it?
I think maybe I was 9. When I was 6, 7, 8, 9, I was so happy. I was smart, loved school, thought I was pretty, thought I could do anything, wanted to do my best, felt confident that I could do a great job, felt confident that I mattered.
And now? Where along the way do we get ideas that maybe we aren't pretty enough, definitely not thin enough, that thing I said in class was really lame, & why do I think I matter??? High school? Maybe.
Wwhat if I said to myself, just take one step. Let's read a book. Let's pray to become stronger. Let's make the choice & decide that I do matter. In doing so, let's realize that I am the only one who can decide for myself that I do matter.
If I can do that, what else can I do?