Dear Restaurant Hosts and Hostesses,
I am very sorry that I am calling you three days before Valentine's Day, trying to make a reservation for the 7:30 seating. I am very sorry that everyone else in New Orleans made their reservations weeks ago and that I only got asked to make these reservations today. I am very sorry that I have to keep asking and pleading for you to fit in one more table-for-two for my boss's guests. I am very sorry that it's also Mardi Gras and by this weekend our city will be under seige by tourists.
Please stop laughing at me as soon as I start to say the words "this Saturday". It's not funny, actually, and since you are the 14th restaurant I've called today, I'm starting to get annoyed by it.
Thank you for your time, and you know what? I will have a great day - thanks for the well wishes.
Hugs and kisses,