Thursday, January 10, 2008

Begin Again

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~Joseph Campbell

I'm aware that today is the 10th of January, and everyone else in the world celebrated New Years 10 days ago, but for me, this year of 2008 starts today. Through an unfortunate set of unforseeable circumstances, the last 7 days have caused me a lot of turmoil and jeopordized many situations and I went into lockdown mode. I turned into an angry person who began systematically blasting through the problem-solving process. Finally, last night the puzzle pieces fell into place and the problems began to be solved.

It was pointed out to me a few days ago that holding onto anger was not helping me figure out the situation and that I needed to find a way to move on. I can't honestly say I was in the mood for such advice but, along with everything else I'm thinking about, I've been mulling it over.

Last night, after the relief of getting all this nonsense settled, I started to consider the future. Moving forward demands letting go of the past. I realized that my toxic anger was affecting all my relationships, my ability to function at work, my happiness and my health. And while the situation caused a friendship to end, which was sad, I've come to the conclusion that moving onward and forward is the only option.

Picking up the pieces has precipitated a lot of personal navel-gazing, and I'm proud of the way I've been able to stay focused on the task at hand. I know I have a lot of personal growing to do--and always will--but that's part of the fun. So my New Year's Resolution is to BEGIN AGAIN. Start fresh. Get rid of the baggage from the past. Just shed it like a snake sheds its skin.

In the last year my life has changed radically. I'm so glad for all the risks I took and moments when I made myself vulnerable. The payoff has been incredible. All this gives me the courage and confidence to keep trying new things, pushing myself, allowing myself and others to make mistakes. We all will. But I know there is so much good to be had in the world and so many possibilities, if we will only take the first step. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

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